Cochrane Alliance Church

Everyone is entitled to a travel rant once-in-a-while. So I’m taking what’s mine!

I am sitting in this Calgary departure lounge waiting for my flight that will not take off for another 1.5 hours...but I’m here this early because if you’re not at the counter at least 60 minutes prior to take-off, they will not let you go into the customs line. I know this because there is a very angry American traveller stuck in the main terminal who was told he cannot check-in because he was at the computer kiosk 59 minutes prior to departure. “Due to the long line-ups in customs and security. You’re just going to delay your plane.” the agent told him in her cheerful 5:45 a.m. voice. I thought that was kind of funny since it took me 5 minutes to clear customs and security and his fellow travellers are still sitting beside me waiting to board his plane to Dallas.

Just in case you haven’t travelled recently, your most important document is actually not your passport, it’s your boarding pass. If I remember correctly, I showed mine to that agent at the check-out counter , to the security guard at the door to customs (after I filled out my declaration card of course), to some other guy about 10 steps from her who wanted to see my US declaration form, to the border officer, to some other lady prior to getting in the security line, to another lady at the beginning of the security line (who scanned it for trace evidence of explosive material), and to the lady that told me I had to throw-out my hair gel and soap container because they were 25 ml beyond the legal limit. She also told me that I had to take off my shoes even though I have travelled in airplanes about 400 times with these shoes and they never seemed to pose any security risk (ok ,maybe 400 times is a bit of an exaggeration). Just in case you missed it, I still have not actually boarded the plane with my pass.

I had that pass ready in case the Tim Horton’s server wanted to see it before she poured me my double-double, but she seemed content just to take my debit card. Don’t worry, I still have it in my hand in case the janitor wants to see it before I use the washroom.

Osama bin Laden, you may not win the war, but I am ready to concede you this battle.